top of page

Wedding Reflections: 7 days until our wedding, a window-glimpse into our story

Let me describe my love to you. My love is a handsome man. Good, straight-forward, light on his feet, intelligent and full of wit. His language is excellent and kind. He speaks with the gentle-natured humour of someone who has the ability to pick up words quickly laid down. He remembers what you tell him, choosing, thoughtfully, to recall only what is needed when it is of need. The man I love holds his virtue intact. He is tender; there is no struggle or tension in his desire to be present. My love is compassionate. On many occasions, he humbled himself to the floor, knees to the wood, and held my shoulders with strong, wordless arms. He believes that men and woman have the capacity to be good because God is good. When we reunite after a long time apart, I am reassured.

Joshua came to visit me for the first time in April 2023. He flew from the Isle of Man, where he was working on a photography project and arrived in London at the beginning of the month. He arrived earlier than planned, booking a spontaneous flight, because was deeply unwell. I had come back from a holiday in Cornwall, was lonely and frightened, and mostly bedridden by migraines. On the night that Joshua rearranged his flight, he was a ceilidh. We called briefly. I heard music in the background, and his questions: 'Would it be okay if I came to you now?'

I met Joshua in the middle of Piccadilly Circus the following morning; his arms were opened tentatively; his backpack, as it has always been since, flung to the ground beside him. Throughout the following week, he held my hand from a chair beside my bed. He brought me gifts every morning – raspberries, flowers, cold coffee from the local café downstairs – so that I would feel better, despite the migraines. On one occasion, I woke to find him asleep at my desk, forehead in his palm. In this moment, I learned that the openness of his expression in sleep reflected the sincerity with which he conducted himself when awake.

The week that followed was precious. I recovered slowly, which allowed us the ability to take walks before and after my work. The weekend was the loveliest, for it gave us an unconcentrated amount of time together. We walked the garden parks – Richmond, Hampstead, St James. Once settled on a bench, or thick tree branch, I would put my head on his warm shoulder and listen to the world around me. Our first official date as

There were hard moments for us, in those early days, because I had been hurt by romantic love before. There was a gentleness to Joshua that unnerved my fear. We walked around the garden parks, Richmond, Hampstead, St James, to find a bench or tree branch. Once settled, I would put my head on his broad, warm shoulder and listen to the world around me. We celebrated our relationship officially with an extravagant dinner at The Garden Arbour – a beautiful, British restaurant in Mayfair. We had mashed potatoes with chives and gravy, sausages; a chicken slow-cooked with leeks and peppercorn; truffle fries. I remember glancing at myself in the long mirror as I walked down the carpeted stairs to the restroom; my cheeks, flushed with warmth and happiness. .

There were days after Joshua went home when the distance did not feel so extreme. He would work late at the Sandtrap, and I would wake early, which left little time when we were not awake simultaneously. At other times, the distance was arduous, and we would have to work very hard to make time to call. This was more often the case when he began working at Budapest Bakeshop. This charming Chimney Cake bakery in Niagara-on-the-Lake is a must-visit staple whenever we return to North America.

Joshua returned to the United Kingdom in June 2023 for a month. I brought him home to meet my family. He was the first boyfriend I had ever brought home to meet my parents. It was there that he learned even more about the life that I had lived before we met. We went for walks in the countryside and travelled north for a weekend getaway in the Highlands. We paddle-boarded, hiked, went on walks around the neighbourhood. He met my parent's friends, my siblings, our church. We ate well; fresh fruit and vegetables bought in quantity. Of course, there were questions around the future of our relationship. What would it look like to continue long-distance? Did Joshua have plans for moving abroad? Where, if we stayed together, would we settle? Despite the uncertainty, this was a peaceful time for thinking about we wanted, and how we might make it happen. July 2023 was also the last month that I remember walking with no pain. The migraines were rarer, coming with less fervour, and my joints were eased by the weather.

In October 2023, I flew to Toronto where Joshua brought me back to meet his parents in St Catharines. We were happy, of course, but my health had worsened, and I was making it worse by attempting to hide the pain. We made precious memories with family and friends during this time, but I would often suffer blind spells, fogginess and migraines. My digestive system was beginning to fail as well.

The memory of visiting St Catherines will always be monumental for me; I remember the long beach walk, coffee dates at RPM and De La Terre, a new pair of Mizuno shoes for my birthday, watching Joshua play ice hockey, the welcome at Pony Church, the prayer gathering in his friend's living room, the luxurious dinners, maple syrup in my tea, the garden luncheon with his mother, walking Niagara-on-the Lake, writing in an art nouveau café called Balzac's and using Strava for my first run in months. It was during this visit that we bought our wedding bands.

In December 2023, Joshua surprised me at the airport in my hometown, Dundee, Scotland. My grandmother, sisters and parents were together for Christmas which greatly enriched the memory of our engagement.

We organised much of our wedding at Christmas – from our venue to the photographer and dress. Planning a wedding, amid health concerns and uncertainty, has been a challenge. We are grateful for those who support us through thought, action and prayer. My parents, especially.

It's wonderful to think that there are only 9 days until the wedding. Whenever I wonder what our future will look like, I find comfort in knowing that, though we will walk through much, we will always walk together.


bottom of page